I spent most of today working on music. I know that's a luxury I won't have in a short period of time and the musical side of me is going to be a real bitch to let go of. My friend and I practiced diligently for hours and for once I really put my soul into what I was doing. I guess it worked, because she said my voice gave her chills today (she meant in a good way!) Our harmonies were perfect, the windows were wide open, and I didn't care how many neighbors witnessed our experimentations. Oh yes, it felt great.
As usual though, my songwriting betrayed my outer sunny dispositon. In a 5 minute stream of consciousness, I came up with
You’re here but somewhere else tonight
And I’m wondering if you’ll stay
I know you lie when you don’t look at me that way
Your private hell is my dominion
But my heart won’t let it go
And as usual I’m the very last to know
The first time was a revelation
The next it was a falter
The third time focused my suspicions
On my hurt and if it mattered
I’ve often held your hand in silence
Played games with borrowed time
Somehow believed your truth was close to mine
I’ll hide behind your inhibitions
And make believe you’ve got a clue
All I needed was to feel you loved me too
The first time was a revelation
The next it was a falter
The third time focused my suspicions
On my hurt and if it mattered
Save me the empty promises
And make me believe you might stay
I’ve begged you not to look at me that way
Let’s pretend this part won’t matter
It’s late and your heart’s grown cold
This time I’ll be the one to let it go
I think I'm on a downward spiral.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Many of my friends are very processy, emotional types. We refer to our Friday nights of drinking and venting about our lives as "sitting on the sad couch". I look forward to sharing this experience with you this weekend. Hang in there. And I loved these lyrics. I had no idea you were a songwriter....
Aw, thank you! The song is a work in progress, but 2 friends I was working with today saw the lyrics and liked them a bunch, so hey... I think it was last night's equivalent to "sitting on the sad couch". It metaphorically represents several episodes in my life from adoption, reunion, and a couple of romantic relationships all tied up into one messy emotional puke.
And yes, I am soooo looking forward to Friday night as well. I can't wait to see you!
Post a Comment