As you can see from my picture, I am a bit shop worn after 2.6 years in reunion but still in one piece and finally (I hope) fog free after 2 years of wrapping myself in the lies. I not only drank the Kool-aid, I made it. The happy reunion ala Oprah is more fog garbage. It doesn't magically cure the hurts. It can be a start. We both struggle with the 2 G words ( far more destructive than the F word) Gratitude and Guilt. Then there is always the attempt to define roles. This is all kinds of fun and usually involves hyphened nouns. My personal favorite is First-Mother. What the hell is that? It sounds like a cross between a vodoo godess and a replaced favorite toy. Who has room in their life for one of those? Then there is the Birth-Daughter. So does that mean no longer a daughter? Where does that fit? We find ourselves in lingustic limbo or a relationship that is almost-like-a-something. Add in our ability to hurt each other and pull back out of fear and you get quite a mix. So all of that said, for me it is worth every minute and every crying jag. We have our ups and downs and they can both be extreme.
The blog is new. I have never posted before to any blog and read very few. In a lot of ways this scares me but I have been assured that there are a lot of people out there who get it. I hope so.
Mother and daughter separated by closed adoption, reunited since 2005, working our way out of the fog and into reality.
fuzzy duck
daughter
fuzzy rat
mother
About Us
Blogs We Read! (this list will be growing...fast)
- Adoptee Journal
- Adopting My Identity
- Amy Adoptee
- Bastard in a Handbasket
- BB Church's Funhouse
- Champagne and Tears
- Infant Atwell
- It Came from the Cabbage Patch
- Joy's Division
- Joy's Mom
- Kim Kim
- Life and my boys
- Lizard Chronicles
- Musings of the Lame
- My Mouth is my Palace
- Possum's Place
- The Chronicles of Munchkinland
- The Daily Bastardette
- The Scoop
- Ungrateful Little Bastard
- Without A Tribe
- You Never "Get Over It"
7 comments:
*Possum waving frantically!!!*
Yeah - I get it.
Aussie adoptee here - in a very bumpy reunion - my mother doesn't quite like my reappearance - but my father - her husband - is trying his best to form a relationship with me. (they married 6 months after my birth)
There is no bloody hand-book to this stuff. You just have to make it all up as it comes along.
So glad you've delved into blogland.
Look forward to reading more in the future.
Hugz,
Poss. xxx
Oh my god I don't know whats the matter with me! Your post has had me in tears. (I'm a bleedin wimp). I think sharing a blog is brilliant. The honesty of feelings your letting each other express, however painful will hopefully (infact I'm certain)allow you both to heal together. Enjoy each other.
P.s You have made me think I might take the risk of contacting my mum again.
love tina
Fuzzy rat mother waving frantically at Possum and Tina with much2say.
I got into this wondering if there was a place for hyphenated mothers in this. Thank you. I hope you will tell me when I am being an insensitive bitch. Thats something the fuzzy duck doesn't do even when she should. The fact that she could drag me out of the fog when it is so hard for her to criticize is amazing. It is the second best thing she has done for me. So yes honest communication is a mine field for both of us. People pleaser meets the guit ridden. This could be the start of a whole new topic or a dozen topics. I can be a real cold uber bitch sometimes. Then again, so can she. I wonder where she gets that?????
Hi, UK adoptee here. Been in reunion for 2 years.
This is the unknown and this is your unique journey.
It's hard, I know but you and your daughter seem to have come a long way since reunion.
You de-fogged and are so trying to get her. That's so much more than a lot of us are getting.
I hope that your relationship continues to flourish.
Be patient and give each other space when it's needed.
The bestest of luck to both of you.
Hi, UK adoptee here. Been in reunion for 2 years.
This is the unknown and this is your unique journey.
It's hard, I know but you and your daughter seem to have come a long way since reunion.
You de-fogged and are so trying to get her. That's so much more than a lot of us are getting.
I hope that your relationship continues to flourish.
Be patient and give each other space when it's needed.
The bestest of luck to both of you.
Hi, UK adoptee here. Been in reunion for 2 years.
This is the unknown and this is your unique journey.
It's hard, I know but you and your daughter seem to have come a long way since reunion.
You de-fogged and are so trying to get her. That's so much more than a lot of us are getting.
I hope that your relationship continues to flourish.
Be patient and give each other space when it's needed.
The bestest of luck to both of you.
Hi, UK adoptee here. Been in reunion for 2 years.
This is the unknown and this is your unique journey.
It's hard, I know but you and your daughter seem to have come a long way since reunion.
You de-fogged and are so trying to get her. That's so much more than a lot of us are getting.
I hope that your relationship continues to flourish.
Be patient and give each other space when it's needed.
The bestest of luck to both of you.
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